Knitting for dummies

Sooooooo this knitting lark, having had a few tips from my mum and sister I braved tackled the knitting needles. I have to confess my first efforts with some black acrylic wool were a disaster, so much so that I really daren't show you..no really I tried but its all too dark to show up..in for a penny in for a pound though I began again with some of my own wool.. The results could be worse. IE I didnt split the wool this time round and I did kinda sorta get the hang of some of it.

Its really frustrating that i can pick up most things and have a good idea of what is required to achieve a reasonable out come....but knitting???? One look at knitting patterns and my brain says "warning warning gobbldygook alert do not attempt to proceed" The panic sets in and I get flash backs to childhood maths classes, were nothing what so ever makes any sense to me at all. So unless my knitting is going to consist of Dr Who proportioned scarves, I for see much angst ahead, at least while spinning etc etc etc the angst doesn't get my finger nails vanishing down to the quick.

My nearest and dearest friends and family will be sick of wool before I am done with them..mwahhhhaaaaaevil laugh sweetly smiles...... Wool anyone one?